Journey of Singlehood: Alone, but Never Lonely

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Hello Blessed and Beautiful One’s!

I find myself almost 8 months post-single…and guess what? I’m happy and Satisfied. In any journey, there will be past memories and struggles along the way. The road is never promised to be super easy. Letting go and giving my troubles to God turned out not to be so hard. I made my choice and was satisfied in it. I hear people always say, “when she is tired, she will no longer argue” or “when a woman is fed up...” …well I was well over due to end that chapter of my life, after 5 years and two children.

To be honest, we always argued and I was always so fearful of leaving. We went to relationship workshops and even sought counseling to help with our issues.At times, I felt like i couldn’t survive without him, but who i didn’t involve enough in my relationship was God, until the very end. I kept praying and making broken promises to God until the end of last year.

Love, to me, isn’t fearful when God is involved. Jesus is Love. I wrestled with that relationship for 5 years and when i finally decided to let go and let God…i felt so free. It was much hurt and pain paired with some happy times. We both fell short in certain aspects of each other, but I wouldn’t want to change anything. Those 5 years is my story, my journey…and i truly believe that their is better to come..along with my Boaz.

My future husband will love me unconditionally, he will respect me, he will adore me, he will comfort me, he will not be intimidated by anything, he will be so much like God that it would be hard for me to tell the difference…and that, in my heart i know, is some very powerful love here on Earth.

Until I am found, i will continue to witness, share my life stories, and all of my testimonies for others to know that you need not be fearful of anything, but the Lord.

 

Peace and Blessings,

Random Mixed Chick

“Train A Child Up In The Way That He Should Go”

“No!!!!, But I dont wanna’!”, exclaimed random child. The mother is thinking to herself, “How embarrassing, let me just make it out the store dear (whatever your Maker’s name is)!”, as she becomes flushed in the face. I’m sure if youre parent, then at least one time you have experienced your child saying that to you-in a public place.  Why is it that kids always want to “act up”, as my parents would say, in public? Do they believe that their actions will go unscathed and be forgettable just because they are around others? Nope. Not at all.

 

I write this because I have recently had this experience with my “Beans” in a public. It just seems that they know when to turn it on :). I AM the one about speeches-at home, or in my car, especially to my eldest. “Now, when you get in (business name), I want you to behave, say yes maam/sir, and Dont touch anything-that youre not supposed to touch”. There is a 50% failure rate; kids will be kids.

So, here are some ways that you can “train” your child(ren) in a sense before, during, and, after departing from home.

 

Tip #1: Have a game-plan of what youre going to do if your kids have melt-down. I usually “try” to carry fruit, or some type of snack on hand. Treats do the trick! As long as they are occupied with something when will they have time to do anything else, right? Just bring lots…and if you want to kick it up a notch-healthy treats. I’m going to begin getting my ideas from Pinterest.

 

Tip#2: Youre at the check-out line at your local grocer….and a melt down is coming? Dont freak out…start playing hand games with your kids. I play “Up High, Down Low” and a tickle game. Who cares if they are hysterical laughing, just as long as they arent hysterical crying, right?

 

Tip#3: If it has gone way past the snacks and games and they arent feeling that either, then its time to get “let me whisper in your ear” close because were about to have “coming to Jesus(whatever your maker’s name is)” moment nearby. You now to have your strong poker face on(I’m working on it because I give in to soon :) )

 

Tip#4: Dont take, give rewards. As parents, its so easy to make threats to take items away, but does it ever really work all the time? Nope. I have been there and done this. I recently had this advice given to me, so thats why I feel its so important to share. Rewarding isnt about bribing, its about making sure he/she obeys their parents. Children love to please. If my kids know that doing what I asked them to do gets them a high-five’s, that means the world to them because their deeds have Not gone unnoticed. Of course, youre going to have to up the ante as your children grow.

 

 

 

I hope my tips help with your next meltdown! :)

 

 

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Peace and Blessings,

 

Random Mixed Chick

 

“I give myself away…” :)

Hello Guys and Gals,

I left you adownload (1)ll temporarily, but i am back! Did you miss me? :)

I felt inspired for many reasons tonight/this morning, but one in particular was that this month, September, was the month I visited my mom in the hospital and about 5 weeks from the day that she passed away. This post is my update with her passing/depression/mourning/new life/ new thinking… yes it is that much!

At the beginning of 2013, I found myself at times very unstable and depressed because I had to find  a way to cope. I searched many sites and talked to many people, but I found for me that it had to be My process of how I was going to deal with it.

I fell into the deepest depression that i have ever felt. Know what pulled me out?

Meditating on the Word and praying to my God.

This is why i want to share this song at the bottom with you all because it came to me as I was trying to fall asleep moments ago. I had to give myself away so He could use me. My trials are not my trials alone, I share my experiences with others to give them the right words to hear when they experience my trials.

I still cry and mourn every now and then for her, but i pick myself back up with hopes that her memory never fades in my mind and that i meet her in the Spirit world when it is my time.

Back in March and April, I was still deeply depressed and going through relationship issues, but found my way back to the Bible, listening to gospel(I havent completely let go of my R&B and Neo Soul), and started thinking positive.

I’m better, but it’s a day by day process.

Today…I still “Give myself away…” :)

Peace and Blessings,

Random Mixed Chick

William McDowell “I give myself away” Song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5rrrGYt5EY&list=PL7699D493C8165C21

Weight Loss Journey Part 7

Good Day Beautiful Soul’s! :) Hope everyone had a great weekend.

My weekend was getting more posts together for you lovely chicks and dudes, while catching up on some classwork online.

So far I lost 5 pounds and that is a great start -for me. :) It’s not huge, but I know it will be more in a 2-3 months. Especially if I continue my exercise regime and using my “Strict Diabetic Diet” guidelines per my Endocrinologist, which are basically that I eat (3) meals a day that consist only of 45 grams of Carbs and (2) snacks that are under 15 grams of Carbs. This seems very strict, but it is actually something that even non-diabetic people should follow. In America, we tend to overeat and be overweight/obese because of the portions that we eat. Keep in mind to that if you do not READ the Nutrition labels, watching those calories and carbs will do no justice. Who wants high blood pressure and water weight?

Here is a challenge when you go out to eat with friends or family:

Either share your meal and split the bill, or if it is just toooooo’ good to share, then ask for your “To-go” box when your food comes out and save some for lunch, or dinner tomorrow. It’s hard, but I’m going to do it and I want you to do it with me. Some diseases ARE preventable and being at the unhappy weight you are now is sometimes preventable.

My biggest challenge is emotional eating and being ashamed of it. I have had that issue even growing up in high school, but then i was so good at hiding it, or being in activities daily at school that I was able to keep my weight from going up so far. I was listening to family members who would tell me how fat I was and how big my legs were and for that very same reason today I admire those women who are in shape with “big booty’s and big thighs”. I want to keep mine and happy with that part of me. Now, I have a man, kids, school, relationships with friends and family, and hell- LIFE. We all know that can be stressful. :) My life currently is dealing with proving to myself and family that I am capable of having a successful career, the ups and downs of maintaining a HEALTHY relationship with my Significant Other,and- while sometimes dealing with the emotion of my mom dying almost 4 months ago. That makes me want to eat everything ALL day, Every day. I and you, if youre dealing with emotional eating, have to find other positive ways to deal with the situation. Sometimes I blog, as Im doing now, to keep urges at bay. :)

On another note, while on Metformin, it is definitely helping me with my urges to eat if i take it while eating at dinner(5-6ish PM). I have felt like i couldnt put anything else to my mouth on this medication, which is a good thing for me. The not so nice thing about this medication is that you better be near a bathroom at least 30-60 min after you eat..Im serious. ;P

It has made me nauseous sometimes and leaves this weird taste in mouth similar to the one i had when i was pregnant. Those things do not mix. LOL. My blood sugars have been running pretty good with the lowest being 96 in the morning and the highest around lunch at 173, and that’s because i ate two bowls of Corn Flakes w/ regular sugar. Yep, not so good. Other than that Im getting a better grip on controlling my numbers. Now i just need a variety of foods to eat to satisfy my appetite.

I hope this post today has helped someone out there and if you ever need to talk about your emotional eating, email me at randommixedchick@gmail.com or leave me a comment below.

Peace and Blessings,

Random Mixed Chick

Here is a photo of me at about 212 lbs. almost 2 weeks ago after working out at the gym.

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Weight Loss Journey Part 6

Dear Random People….

Sighs….okay so as i re-read my title, yep..the same title that i have i been labeling these post, it feels like a journey, but without the weight loss. I do these post and document my journey even when im ashamed(going back to my pregnancy weight) because someone out there is probably going through something similar. This isnt the toughest thing I have ever done, but it is the most revealing thing that I have ever exposed to the world each week…or two. :) This journey that im going through makes me want to cry a lot, it makes me emotional and depressed sometimes because Im not seeing the weight loss results I want right away, and it makes me want to give up at times. However, I cant because I have “my little beans” that count on my livelihood. I hardly ever quit anything i do, so this hurdle too shall pass. I will get to my weight loss goal of 150-160 pounds along with a shapely derriere to top it off! Got to keep what i have tight already! ;)

Great News:

Had a visit for the first time with my endocrinologist and he checked off that my blood sugars and A1C looks positively great! In October of 2012 i had a A1C of about a 12 and today my number stands at whopping 7.9. My goal is naturally a 6. We talked about my weight gain. We decided that it would be necessary to ease me off the Novolog (short acting insulin) onto Metformin, which will also help me lose weight instead of gaining as i take my diabetic medications. Im also happy to say that he strongly believes I am a Type 2 diabetic and that I dont actually have kidney damage! Whew!!! With my past post, I must have read the results incorrectly because I only have protein spillage. I can settle with that. 

So it definitely is some good things coming out of this weeks journey nonetheless, I can only be grateful that it is not worse. :)

Also, Im going to do MORE extensive research on my body type this week an next week… because im thinking building muscle over fat is not going to be the best route for me at this point. Im planning to do my cardio on the treadmill, Zumba, and maybe a Step class until i get to my desired weight. 

Hopefully next week will show some results in the direction i want it to :)

Stay tuned for more of my journey to come……

Peace and Blessings,

Random Mixed Chick

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Weight Loss Journey Part 5

Happy Friday Random People!

And…Thanks for stopping by my blog to get your “fix” for the week :) I love you.

At any rate, this is my weekly update on my health journey. Recently my SO and I got a gym membership and we have been working our muscle for about a week now. If you have read the beginning posts about my journey, it began with me doing walking and jogging mainly in the park. Then, the holidays came and i was majorly sidetracked. Sidetracked and stressed that i gained weight instead of losing. Hopefully as i pick up where i left off i can get toned and still lose the weight i desire.” I WILL BE A HAPPY AND HEALTHY 150-160 POUND WOMAN!”( I’m having to do a daily affirmation to help the mental as well.)

This week I walked for about 30 min on the treadmill, which burned about 100 calories… that was probably my breakfast that morning. Then, my SO and i kicked it up a notch…i did a little research on my body type and exercises. I researched workouts that would suit a “petite “overweight” woman” and i came up the results of do more weight training with more reps and less weight and not too much cardio, but still some. Yes, i scratched my head and I’m actually still scratching. I figured you were supposed to run all the “fat” off and then do weight training to tone. I’m not sure, maybe this would be a good time to invest in a personal trainer?? The lunges with free weights have kicked my butt!!! Seriously, i feel almost scared to do them for some reason. I’ve been doing a lot of squats, lunges, bicep and triceps exercises, and some exercise to help with what i joked about today called a “kangaroo pouch”. For all the people who don’t know what that is…its a pouch of fat/skin that happens when you have Cesareans. Its personally been a struggle to remove my pouch since 2009. However, 2013 is MY year and the year the infamous “kangaroo pouch” will be removed!

As far as blood sugars and diets: my blood sugars have been stable and go up to about 160 occasionally depending on what and how much i ate, but since its been meat and veggies…it hasn’t fluctuated too much.  This afternoon for lunch, we boiled some spinach, drained it, and then put a little of the Light Bertolli Alfredo sauce in it with grilled chicken breast. It was good, but i was still a little hungry afterwards, so i will need to find some extra “free foods”  that wont do me too much harm. I’m also drinking lots of lemon water as well. ;) I’m learning if you just leave the breads and pasta alone, then high blood sugars will not be a problem. I have tried the vegetable pasta though and it tasted the same with similar amount of carbs as regular pasta has in it. I believe i don’t need that either.

Now, I’ve told you all that I was planning to buy a couple of workout dvd’s to test out for my readers. My first one will be PhineBody by Phaedra and Apollo from the Real House

wives of Atlanta and i will also try the Black Girls Workout Too video. Who doesn’t want a more shapely derriere? I do! :D

Well stay tuned for more of my updates and Im hoping to begin to Vlog some of the exercise I’m doing for my favorite readers soon! If you have any suggestions for workouts for a “petite” woman to do, please comment below and point me in the right direction. I hope everyone has an enjoyable weekend, Hasta Luego !

Peace and Blessings,

Random Mixed Chick

 

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You Didn’t Have Two-Parent Home Either? It’s Okay.

Dear Random People,

This quote I’m using in the beginning seems to be the scripture/statement of my life growing up in a foster home and group home. It’s also from a daily devotional book i found in my mother’s belongings before she passed called Delight Yourself in the Lord…Even on Bad Hair Days.

“Love, Hope, and Faith”

“Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character, and character, hope. And Hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” Romans 5:3-5

“So often we hear people say things like, ‘I would never have asked for this to happen to me, but i wouldn’t change a thing because it made me who i am today.” That might sound trite, but the insinuation is that the person appreciates who she is today. For a Christian, that means she sees God’s hand in her life. She has hope for a God-ordained future. That kind of hope wont disappoint us. It eventually rises to the surface, despite any suffering we experience, if we persevere and allow our sufferings to build our strength and character.”- excerpt from Delight Yourself in the Lord…Even on Bad Hair Days

I write this today because a very close person to me mentioned my past to me today…apparently I was SUPPOSED to be sad, hurt, and offended. Anyone that i meet in life, I hope i do not give them a perception of “woe me, or pity me”…thats far from how i would like to be seen.

My past may not be like your past…we all vary from life to life. That is what makes our character, hence my scripture and statement. I grew up with my brothers in a single family home which moved to an almost promising life when my mom married my stepfather. Things turned for the worse…and my brothers and were in the state’s custody. We were placed with family, then in a not so good foster home, and then finally to my humble abode…”le group home”, which is basically what is sounds like..a home for a group of kids, who more than likely were like me, needed therapeutic attention, or some were just misbehaving juveniles. We all walked different paths though. Some came out of it, while some wallowed in their struggles.

I felt anger, sadness, confusion, guilt, and any other kind of emotion you can fathom a 12 year old feeling, who also had been playing the role of parents to younger siblings. I missed my mom and dreamed of having a the two-parent household that you saw on television..but that just wasnt my reality. First life lesson: You dont always get what you want, but be satisfied with what you have. What i had was wonderful family who picked us up on holidays, i got to be with my friends ALL DAY LONG! It wasnt the life, but in a sense it WAS THE LIFE! ;) I didnt have to fight with my parents about spending time with my friends. Plus, some of those same friends are STILL my best friends to this day. I would never want to change that EVER. When i finally moved to a different state, i was able to see many colorful cultures! My eyes opened to different races and ethnic groups. I love learning about people and their culture. My 2nd high school did just that for me.

I cant say that being taken away from my parents was the BEST thing that happened to me, but it gave me character and values that some people lack. I gained perseverance; which helps me in certain life situations, but also hinders me because i dont know when to stop trying. I gained serenity. That was big for me because i cried every day and night in the foster home i was in. I just didnt want to be there. Praying gave me peace to deal as long as i could deal. I gained courage. I try my best to fight my battles head on, even if I’m scared because knowing what my past was like gives me hope for the future. I made it through that. ;) Lastly, it gives me power. I can be that shoulder to someone who is or has gone through what i went through and comfort them when they are feeling emotionally drained and tired.

Have you had a similar experience of living without your parents or family? I want to hear your story and help it empower others! Comment below please! ;)

Peace and Blessings,
Random Mixed Chick