Dear Random People,
This quote I’m using in the beginning seems to be the scripture/statement of my life growing up in a foster home and group home. It’s also from a daily devotional book i found in my mother’s belongings before she passed called Delight Yourself in the Lord…Even on Bad Hair Days.
“Love, Hope, and Faith”
“Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character, and character, hope. And Hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” Romans 5:3-5
“So often we hear people say things like, ‘I would never have asked for this to happen to me, but i wouldn’t change a thing because it made me who i am today.” That might sound trite, but the insinuation is that the person appreciates who she is today. For a Christian, that means she sees God’s hand in her life. She has hope for a God-ordained future. That kind of hope wont disappoint us. It eventually rises to the surface, despite any suffering we experience, if we persevere and allow our sufferings to build our strength and character.”- excerpt from Delight Yourself in the Lord…Even on Bad Hair Days
I write this today because a very close person to me mentioned my past to me today…apparently I was SUPPOSED to be sad, hurt, and offended. Anyone that i meet in life, I hope i do not give them a perception of “woe me, or pity me”…thats far from how i would like to be seen.
My past may not be like your past…we all vary from life to life. That is what makes our character, hence my scripture and statement. I grew up with my brothers in a single family home which moved to an almost promising life when my mom married my stepfather. Things turned for the worse…and my brothers and were in the state’s custody. We were placed with family, then in a not so good foster home, and then finally to my humble abode…”le group home”, which is basically what is sounds like..a home for a group of kids, who more than likely were like me, needed therapeutic attention, or some were just misbehaving juveniles. We all walked different paths though. Some came out of it, while some wallowed in their struggles.
I felt anger, sadness, confusion, guilt, and any other kind of emotion you can fathom a 12 year old feeling, who also had been playing the role of parents to younger siblings. I missed my mom and dreamed of having a the two-parent household that you saw on television..but that just wasnt my reality. First life lesson: You dont always get what you want, but be satisfied with what you have. What i had was wonderful family who picked us up on holidays, i got to be with my friends ALL DAY LONG! It wasnt the life, but in a sense it WAS THE LIFE! I didnt have to fight with my parents about spending time with my friends. Plus, some of those same friends are STILL my best friends to this day. I would never want to change that EVER. When i finally moved to a different state, i was able to see many colorful cultures! My eyes opened to different races and ethnic groups. I love learning about people and their culture. My 2nd high school did just that for me.
I cant say that being taken away from my parents was the BEST thing that happened to me, but it gave me character and values that some people lack. I gained perseverance; which helps me in certain life situations, but also hinders me because i dont know when to stop trying. I gained serenity. That was big for me because i cried every day and night in the foster home i was in. I just didnt want to be there. Praying gave me peace to deal as long as i could deal. I gained courage. I try my best to fight my battles head on, even if I’m scared because knowing what my past was like gives me hope for the future. I made it through that. Lastly, it gives me power. I can be that shoulder to someone who is or has gone through what i went through and comfort them when they are feeling emotionally drained and tired.
Have you had a similar experience of living without your parents or family? I want to hear your story and help it empower others! Comment below please!
Peace and Blessings,
Random Mixed Chick