Love|Marriage|Reflection

Peace Family!

 

I come to you so much better than I felt a few days ago. I had a range of emotions pulled out my being all at once. Know why? My kids father got married. Since I’ve done my own shadow work, I can’t do anything but be honest with you all. My poor little heart was hit like the “High Striker Sledge Hammer” game at the fair. I was “butt hurt” and in my feelings. I cried. I’m not even going to lie. 9022ba21927e066613cc0c8fb0d026e2

I was happy for them, but it was weird though. My emotions went from extremely happy, sad, jealous, envious, trying to be happy again, and melancholic. This was different though…the jealousy wasn’t like I want him back, or that i wanted them to be separated…No, this was one of those feelings like, damn….when will it be my time? I started to question my own self-healing work. I think what helped increase those feelings was that I have several people around me getting married to their mate, but I had to shake those feelings and not allow it to overcome me. Those were just negative affirmations racing through my mind. I know deep within my core, I will always be that person that’s even more happy than the person going through any exciting life event.

As I soak in my tub, contemplating writing this blog post…I tried to talk myself out of it, but someone needed to hear this!

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Get your ass in there and blog about this!

Realization

My time will come. This is their time to enjoy. It’s not easy always putting your feelings aside, but the work I’ve been doing on myself, to better me, was necessary. The mature person that I’ve grown to be congratulated them(…and because of the spirituality I am in, I burned a white & pink prayer candle for them to always have Love and Protection). I’ve always loved her for him ever since we met years ago and I know she will be a good wife for him… to ground him. Most importantly, she will be a awesome stepmom to our kids. They’ve made the choice to give all of our kids stability. That is a gift in itself!

Our fine little’ step daddy is on the way….! 

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Etsy photo from ValerieKStudio

I begin to think …the reflection of my higher self  is on his way! I hope I’m ready for him and vice versa. Until then, I’m going to continue working on me and healing past wounds, so when he comes, I can love him properly and be loved thoroughly.

My song Blind Man by SPZRKT/Xavier Omar began to play…I want my “reflection” to love me like that! 🙂

Love the lyrics….
“I can love you with my eyes closed
I don’t lose sight of your beauty
‘Cos your heart is fine gold baby
Imma take my time with your mind

Your ambition won’t leave me alone
Tell me ’bout your dreams, tell me everything
Don’t nobody care about your heart like I do
Girl I’m down for you just the way that you’re down for me

Body like a queen
But it ain’t about your body baby it’s about your being
I ain’t rolling up, but I’m on a high
When you really think about it, ain’t no wonder why”

 

 

 

Peace and Blessings,

Random Mixed Chick

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Do As I Say…and As I Do!! :)

Hello Beauties!

A comment that I put on my last post inspired me to write this one…

 

Kids are so impressionable at any age, but truly when they are under ten year old, in my opinion. They are so observant and listen closely to your every word…even when you think they are not….! I know you have faked sleep once, or twice when your parents, or parents friend were having a “grown folks conversation”…..Ummmm hummmm. 🙂 We all did it…we were all inquisitive….and still really are… For example…there is an accident pulled over to the median. What do we all naturally do? We stare for as long as our wheel and brakes will allow us to AND we may even roll down the window. So, we all want to know something.

I grew up in the 80-90’s, so McDonald’s and Burger King were a treat..we didn’t eat there everyday. In 2015, its far from a treat. It is a death sentence by choice. Sarcastically speaking, I’m unsure if the salad is even healthy. If you choose to partake in it, eat it in so much moderation that you’re barely eating it at all! My family cooked at home and I cant say that I always wanted it, but if I got hungry enough, then it was eaten. Not many people are cooking at home and when they shop for groceries, they head for the middle aisles…where are the sugary, gooey treats are…Then you have parents who are just getting off work and are tired..I get it. *raises hand* I am too. I have alarms set…here is my schedule:

5:30 a.m. Wake up. Get work out clothes on and kids clothes on

6 a.m. Feed the kids

6:25 a.m. Heading to daycare * thank God they are open this early*

6:35 a.m. Drive to the park

6:45 a.m. MaymyRun and Pandora…locked and loaded

7:30 a.m. 2 miles around park….maybe step runs once or twice..Done.

7:45 a.m. Doing either arm exercise, tummy, or back workouts

8:15 a.m. Getting ready for work

6:45 p.m. Working out with the kids at the park again

IT’S A CHOICE!

I’m becoming disciplined because you wouldn’t get me up that early to save your own life 🙂 Now, I can! 🙂

You have to re-route your food choices. Only shop for foods on the outside areas. Fruits/Veggie section will ALWAYS be my first place to go. Then, Meat section…followed by Dairy area. Until i learn how to make my own sauces, etc..that’s when i will stay off those aisles. My kids watch me…they see what kind of fruits we ingest…they even watch my exercise…I make it so important that it becomes important to them. It so good for me because I ask random people running up the stairs if they want to race, so it becomes fun for everyone. I don’t care if i look foolish…its about living! Sometimes i give them kid version of being healthy and then some days I give them NC-17 version…For example: “If you eat fast food all the time, you will become over weight…like me…and you will be unhappy…like me…and you will have a plethora of diseases attached to you…UNLESS you make the CHOICE to eat better”. I explain, that mean eating fresh fruits and vegetables, trying green smoothies, sticking to a strict carb intake. I’m learning that food tastes good, but Im not going to scarf down so much that I’m sick because I’m choosing to binge eat. And you know…that is actually a disorder.

Parents: Set great examples…it costs less than you think to eat healthy… You can get out of Walmart with pineapples, blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, kale, spinach, and even tomatoes…with about $25-30. That is the same amount that you would spend on one meal full of junk. Do better so our kids can do better. Diabetes is real…and I have it. I don’t want my kids to have it and deal with what I’m putting myself through when I CHOOSE to binge eat. I had a blood sugar at 300-400…my body is use to, but I’m damaging organs and nerves in the process. In this past week alone, I have managed to get my blood sugar down to 92- 115. I’m amazed and i rechecked….because i though the meter was lying…* as if it can talk back*.

Were going to do this together…..No one gets left behind!!

I’m challenging everyone to walk 2 miles a day in the park for at least 3 days. Eat 2 more vegetables and fruits in replace of a starch like mashed potatoes, or pasta. 🙂

I believe in you 🙂

Peace and Blessings,

 

Random Mixed Chick

My Loves racing.... this is a still shot them...my DD beats my son :)

My Loves racing…. this is a still shot of them…my DD beats my son 🙂

 

My Love Patches… Part 3!

Hello Beauties!!

Hope you all have been well since I have last posted!

I wanted to do an update post of my love patches aka Alopecia Areata today. It has grown so much since my last update last year. I have little sprouts and a even a baby curl! Who would have thunk it?!? I am continuously using my Rogaine for Women, steroid shots from my dermatologist, Jamaican Black Castor Oil,  using the Vitamin E capsules(… make a small incision and apply it to the spot..i use 2 capsules per spot), and even praying over my spots.

In February, I actually got a Ion brand hair dye applied to my hair as well(Ion black cherry). I don’t see any damage, so if it works for you- even with Alopecia Areata, go ahead and get a summer color going for yourself! My stylist was able to even trim my new growth spots, so that it could grow even more.

So, I’m really happy and 80% stress free nowadays. Stress was the key for me that I believe initially had my hair falling out. I do my best now to take deep breaths, rethink how I’m going to handle the situation moving forward, and pray.

Here are some Before and Current pictures!

Before(Mid 2014)

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After (April 2015)

Top                                                 Back (See my little curl 😉 )

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These are some products that I’m currently using as well ….

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Peace & Blessings,

Random Mixed Chick

It’s Levels to this Spiritual Thing, You See!

Hello Blessed One’s

 

Have you ever been so excited about going online, or standing in line to get the best concert tickets to see your favorite musician? If you have the funds paired with the high level of passion and interest…then you are definitely going to want to be in the front to be able to see that person in concert. So…Why is it  that we can’t have that same enthusiasm for the very first row of seats at church?  Everybody will bypass the first row for no really good reason.

I have a been thinking about a creative way to express this post all week…and I finally have it. Its levels to this spiritual progress.

 

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Sitting to the Side or those Upper Level Seats: I can raise both of my hands because I have been there and done it! 🙂 I remember not wanting to be at church hearing a Word at all…..and if i had to go, I wanted to be able to escape….down the hall, stairs, or back entrance…especially if it was boring. During these times, I thought i could handle my problems alone, depended upon man to get what i needed, or simply had lack of respect for the minister’s thoughts..because they didnt apply to my life, right?! These are the seats where you dont have to do too much and you basically blend in with the rest of those lost people who are on the verge of “trying”. I fell asleep…i ate food….and barely even put money into the offering basket. When it was time to sing, or give Jesus some glory and praise…i lightly clapped and definitely looked around to see who was watching me. I think back to myself and asked why??

 

Next… we have the Lower Level Mezzanine and the Floor Seats: The Mezzanine seats gives you a good view that enables you to see details and may even cost a little more than the seats above. People who are at the halfway mark through their spiritual journey will usually sit here. These people have gotten out of their shell..a little…they will clap a little louder…and “touch their neighbor”.The Floor Seats are the bomb!! Now if youre here…youre most likely 3/4 the way. Sitting here at the concert means that its possible for you to dance, clap, shout, and lets not forget…touching your neighbor without looking around at your peers out of shame. When youre at this point, you have probably had a few road blocks and many trials that made you want to give up. You may have just given up, but you always came back to Jesus. You know of nothing else in your heart, mind and soul but to come back when you have been knocked down.

Now….if you have lots of dinero’ for Orchestra Seat, you my friend have made it….on Earth. But, if you have made it to the 1st and 2nd row of chairs, or pews at church, you have come full circle and understand that the riches here on Earth mean nothing without being grounded in the Word. You have sought the Kingdom and understand that if you seek Jesus First that everything else Will be added to you. Youre not afraid to raise your hand in praise and worship, youre not afraid of what people are going to think…because you now understand that they are sinners just like you. At this point, sitting in to the side, upper level, mezzanine, or floor seats does nothing for you. It only feels good to your soul to be close to the stage.

 

Personally, I have come full circle and made it to the Orchestra because I am just plain tired of sitting elsewhere. I need to focus on the Word and nothing else. If Im sitting in the front, where is my distraction from the Word?

What also helps to propel you forward on your spiritual journey is to have like-minded, or better individuals surrounding you. Ever heard of the “crabs in the bucket effect”? You cant get anywhere with people who want to keep you down with them in sin? Progression is wonderful. 🙂

Which area have you chosen to sit in lately? Let me know where you are at on your spiritual journey today!

 

Peace and Blessings,

Random Mixed Chick

 

My Love Patches….Part 2 <3

Hello Beautiful One’s

So, Im still showing major love to these “love patches” of mine! 🙂

I definitely wanted to keep my lovely readers up to date with my hair growth progress. I went back for my 2nd dermatologist appointment yesterday and …..1/3 of my spots are gone!! The injections and Biotin vitamins( I failed to mention this on the first post). 

Only 2 more spots to go.....Yay!

Only 2 more spots to go…..Yay!

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I was given more injections in the last two spots. Also, I was prescribed Rogaine for Women, so that my hair growth isn’t delayed. Im so excited for the new hair growth. 🙂 I was assured that even though this is an autoimmune disease,  I wouldn’t always have Alopecia Areata….as long as I avoid stress. I am super psyched for more hair growth because I want to try highlights again…a little change never hurt anyone, right?

I am due back in one month and will definitely keep you all updated! 🙂

How do you avoid stress? If you have it, how do you handle having Alopecia? 

Drop me a comment in the box below 🙂

 

Peace and Blessings,

Random Mixed Chick

Journey of Singlehood: Alone, but Never Lonely

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Hello Blessed and Beautiful One’s!

I find myself almost 8 months post-single…and guess what? I’m happy and Satisfied. In any journey, there will be past memories and struggles along the way. The road is never promised to be super easy. Letting go and giving my troubles to God turned out not to be so hard. I made my choice and was satisfied in it. I hear people always say, “when she is tired, she will no longer argue” or “when a woman is fed up...” …well I was well over due to end that chapter of my life, after 5 years and two children.

To be honest, we always argued and I was always so fearful of leaving. We went to relationship workshops and even sought counseling to help with our issues.At times, I felt like i couldn’t survive without him, but who i didn’t involve enough in my relationship was God, until the very end. I kept praying and making broken promises to God until the end of last year.

Love, to me, isn’t fearful when God is involved. Jesus is Love. I wrestled with that relationship for 5 years and when i finally decided to let go and let God…i felt so free. It was much hurt and pain paired with some happy times. We both fell short in certain aspects of each other, but I wouldn’t want to change anything. Those 5 years is my story, my journey…and i truly believe that their is better to come..along with my Boaz.

My future husband will love me unconditionally, he will respect me, he will adore me, he will comfort me, he will not be intimidated by anything, he will be so much like God that it would be hard for me to tell the difference…and that, in my heart i know, is some very powerful love here on Earth.

Until I am found, i will continue to witness, share my life stories, and all of my testimonies for others to know that you need not be fearful of anything, but the Lord.

 

Peace and Blessings,

Random Mixed Chick

You Didn’t Have Two-Parent Home Either? It’s Okay.

Dear Random People,

This quote I’m using in the beginning seems to be the scripture/statement of my life growing up in a foster home and group home. It’s also from a daily devotional book i found in my mother’s belongings before she passed called Delight Yourself in the Lord…Even on Bad Hair Days.

“Love, Hope, and Faith”

“Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character, and character, hope. And Hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” Romans 5:3-5

“So often we hear people say things like, ‘I would never have asked for this to happen to me, but i wouldn’t change a thing because it made me who i am today.” That might sound trite, but the insinuation is that the person appreciates who she is today. For a Christian, that means she sees God’s hand in her life. She has hope for a God-ordained future. That kind of hope wont disappoint us. It eventually rises to the surface, despite any suffering we experience, if we persevere and allow our sufferings to build our strength and character.”- excerpt from Delight Yourself in the Lord…Even on Bad Hair Days

I write this today because a very close person to me mentioned my past to me today…apparently I was SUPPOSED to be sad, hurt, and offended. Anyone that i meet in life, I hope i do not give them a perception of “woe me, or pity me”…thats far from how i would like to be seen.

My past may not be like your past…we all vary from life to life. That is what makes our character, hence my scripture and statement. I grew up with my brothers in a single family home which moved to an almost promising life when my mom married my stepfather. Things turned for the worse…and my brothers and were in the state’s custody. We were placed with family, then in a not so good foster home, and then finally to my humble abode…”le group home”, which is basically what is sounds like..a home for a group of kids, who more than likely were like me, needed therapeutic attention, or some were just misbehaving juveniles. We all walked different paths though. Some came out of it, while some wallowed in their struggles.

I felt anger, sadness, confusion, guilt, and any other kind of emotion you can fathom a 12 year old feeling, who also had been playing the role of parents to younger siblings. I missed my mom and dreamed of having a the two-parent household that you saw on television..but that just wasnt my reality. First life lesson: You dont always get what you want, but be satisfied with what you have. What i had was wonderful family who picked us up on holidays, i got to be with my friends ALL DAY LONG! It wasnt the life, but in a sense it WAS THE LIFE! 😉 I didnt have to fight with my parents about spending time with my friends. Plus, some of those same friends are STILL my best friends to this day. I would never want to change that EVER. When i finally moved to a different state, i was able to see many colorful cultures! My eyes opened to different races and ethnic groups. I love learning about people and their culture. My 2nd high school did just that for me.

I cant say that being taken away from my parents was the BEST thing that happened to me, but it gave me character and values that some people lack. I gained perseverance; which helps me in certain life situations, but also hinders me because i dont know when to stop trying. I gained serenity. That was big for me because i cried every day and night in the foster home i was in. I just didnt want to be there. Praying gave me peace to deal as long as i could deal. I gained courage. I try my best to fight my battles head on, even if I’m scared because knowing what my past was like gives me hope for the future. I made it through that. 😉 Lastly, it gives me power. I can be that shoulder to someone who is or has gone through what i went through and comfort them when they are feeling emotionally drained and tired.

Have you had a similar experience of living without your parents or family? I want to hear your story and help it empower others! Comment below please! 😉

Peace and Blessings,
Random Mixed Chick