Oracle Reading-“Ex-Factor”

“Why do I choose unavailable men?”

Heal and be healed.

I did this spread Thursday night and I’m writing about it now. When I think of my situations…I think of Lauryn Hill’s song Ex-Factor. Have you listened to the words? A constant struggle…loves but reopening of scars every time, but even better discovering you just simply need to let some shit go.  It resonated with me to the 10th degree. Loving someone so unavailable, but not being able to let go…even going to the extent of changing and accommodating. Even more, not being able to stay for you. Is that love?

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  1. Situation: “The Blessing of Endless Possibilities”- Woman grounded…fish around her…she’s the center of it all. It speaks to me, saying, be the Light. Don’t take it too seriously…Let go of things… keep your innocence and imagination.
  2. Obstacles: “The Blessing of Questions”-Tree rooted, but sways…leaves falling…confusion…Let go of what no longer serves you. Be Free.  I resonated with this card because I am solely a person of question… I question everything and then create different scenarios in my head about situations. This card plainly states, “Examine and identify any belief that stems from irrational fear.” My fears have been about self-worth, anxiety about things I can’t change, and above all, love (choosing to deal with my unavailability and dealing with men who are unavailable also, who can’t show me love at 100%). I have to let go of my fears of all of those things to be set free, so that I may attract the most positive things and be my best Higher self to receive those things.
  3. Recommended Actions: “A Blessing Woven in Time”- Rooted tree shedding leaves…rain equaling tears…change…no worries…speak the truth…my truth…burden lifted and blessing for me and all. Personally, I resonate with the message because I am blogging about my different experiences. They are normal experiences anyone would have, but none that anyone would be open and bold to be discussing. It has been on my heart that I can’t perpetrate…I have to be honest. I have to speak on my experience, to heal from my experiences. Then, everyone just might be more comfortable sharing and healing from their own experiences. In time is what the card says and “speak the truth and the burden will be lifted”. Self-sacrificing experiences isn’t for the faint-hearted, but I own every bit of it. I am on a mission to heal everyone!
  4. Outcome: “Your Blessed Power”- A woman represented…angel wings…heart….learning….growth…can do anything! Creator of things…blessing to the earth. I took the message from this card that I have the power to change my situation. When you know better, you do better!

Peace and Blessings,

Random Mixed Chick

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Journey of Singlehood: Alone, but Never Lonely

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Hello Blessed and Beautiful One’s!

I find myself almost 8 months post-single…and guess what? I’m happy and Satisfied. In any journey, there will be past memories and struggles along the way. The road is never promised to be super easy. Letting go and giving my troubles to God turned out not to be so hard. I made my choice and was satisfied in it. I hear people always say, “when she is tired, she will no longer argue” or “when a woman is fed up...” …well I was well over due to end that chapter of my life, after 5 years and two children.

To be honest, we always argued and I was always so fearful of leaving. We went to relationship workshops and even sought counseling to help with our issues.At times, I felt like i couldn’t survive without him, but who i didn’t involve enough in my relationship was God, until the very end. I kept praying and making broken promises to God until the end of last year.

Love, to me, isn’t fearful when God is involved. Jesus is Love. I wrestled with that relationship for 5 years and when i finally decided to let go and let God…i felt so free. It was much hurt and pain paired with some happy times. We both fell short in certain aspects of each other, but I wouldn’t want to change anything. Those 5 years is my story, my journey…and i truly believe that their is better to come..along with my Boaz.

My future husband will love me unconditionally, he will respect me, he will adore me, he will comfort me, he will not be intimidated by anything, he will be so much like God that it would be hard for me to tell the difference…and that, in my heart i know, is some very powerful love here on Earth.

Until I am found, i will continue to witness, share my life stories, and all of my testimonies for others to know that you need not be fearful of anything, but the Lord.

 

Peace and Blessings,

Random Mixed Chick